Monday, April 30, 2012

More than I can hold

Some days I want to write it all down and get it all out because it hurts to keep it all in...whatever "it" may be.

There is significant frustration that comes from not being able to adequately convey feelings through simple words. For every second wasted thinking over synonyms is a second more that the frustration and anger can fill up and take over the original emotion you were writing about. You must bring yourself back to the exact moment you first felt compelled to write, center yourself, and start fresh. There are days when I have more inside my head and heart than I can hold.

It may seem as though I am phoning it in with this blog post - but it's been a struggle to identify exactly how I feel these past few days and what kind of mood this is. It feels like cobwebs on my face and I can't quite pull them away to examine them up close. Once I get it together, there should be a poem waiting for me.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Sharing the Joshua Tree

Okay gang.  It's been quite some time since I have posted.  No more chit-chat. Here we go.

Once again, I called upon my friend Zak to supply me with a picture to use as a writing prompt. He did not fail me.

So, here is the photo...
"Desert near Joshua Tree" Photo credit: Zachary Chipps 2012

And here is my piece titled, "Sharing the Joshua Tree"...

Deserts are never deserted. This isolation is all in your head.
No one could be alone here.
Not really. Even when you try.
This is the land of solace. No pretenses.
You will be seen, but not judged. You will be weighed, but not measured.
This place doesn't care if you remember your dreams. Only that you have them.
Just open your eyes and go.
Follow the horizon divide, mountainside, or center line. It's all the same as long as you are going.
Somewhere. Anywhere.
I will share my Joshua Tree with you.
Because we are never alone here. Not really.
Even when we try.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Now I know what is *NOT* helpful mood music

Let me take you back. Thursday night. The plan fell into place perfectly. Serendipity at its finest. Husband left for some night fishing, daughter was doing her nightly reading, the dogs were outside - - all was quiet and well. I thought to myself, "Jenn, what a perfect time to put down on paper all those thoughts rattling around in your head." So I did.  And for 20 minutes it was glorious...

Then I was startled out of my skivvies by the incredibly loud kitchen timer my child sets to indicate she has done her required reading. Yes, my 20 minutes of quiet time were over. That sweet child of mine looked at me with her big baby blues and said, "Is it okay if I watch some music videos on YouTube before bed? I'll keep it down so you can finish writing (blink, blink, smile)." Oh, do you think I could deny her? No. The answer is no.

Usually, I can handle music in the background. In fact, there are times I purposely play music while writing. It can help set a mood or tone for me. Do you know what kind of music does not set a helpful writing mood and is impossible to ignore? DISNEY MOVIE SONGS. That's right. I said it. Disney songs. Apparently I cannot concentrate when "Under the Sea", "A Whole New World", "Be Our Guest", and "Hakuna Matata" are playing. At first, I found my eyes gravitating towards our computer screen. Then I was mouthing the words. Next came the head bobbing. Followed by the "saying" of the lyrics. By the time she was on the fourth or fifth song I had my chair snug up against hers, singing my face off, and my "give a shit" meter was firmly pegged at zero. Ugh. I couldn't even be bothered with embarrassment. Never mind the fact that I was smack in the middle of what could possibly turn out to be one of my better pieces of work to date. Let's stop everything and sing about effing flying carpets and dancing crabs! Alas. This is my life. As the talking candlestick said to the genie of the lamp, "The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake,"...or something like that. Whatever.  Don't judge me. Hakuna Matata.