Thursday, November 10, 2011

It's a little off topic. Eh, who cares.

Let's see, this particular tangent started because I was brainstorming ideas for a (relevant) blog post and got distracted in one of the most random texting relays to date.  I thought to myself, "Jenn, you have the most random friends.  Is this really the weirdest round of texts you've received?"  So, 20 minutes into going through the incoming and outgoing text messages on my phone, I have realized that I do not have the most ridiculous friends...I have some of the most AMAZING friends.  Truthfully, I cannot comprehend why these beautiful and wonderful people continue to talk to me, considering the things that come out of my mouth (usually at the most inappropriate times).  Examples of awesome friendship demonstrated below...

Outbox: 
  • Sigh.  It's fine.  I'll just polish off these bottled margaritas myself and then sing and dance to bad 80's music alone in my dining room.  It's okay.  I'm embracing my middle agedness gracefully.
  • This is one of those High Heels vs. Chuck Taylor's things.  You = wine.  Me = margaritas.  Our Venn diagram overlaps at Boulevard.
  • The highlight of my day so far was when I ordered a roast beef sandwich at Subway and the lady was all, "good girl!".  WTF? I am not a pet doing a trick - - I ordered a friggin' sandwich!
  • What the hell are you doing in Cleveland?!?!?
  • What? Everybody has at least one thing - I just happen to do three- - song lyrics, walking thesaurus, and Confucious say.  I could do Yoda and be very annoying.  Very annoying is Yoda....
  • Oh man - I feel like everyone is going to start looking like James Spader circa 1985.  This does not bode well.  
  • Bahahaha!  Honey Badgers believe...

Inbox:
  • Hate you.  I really wanted that sandwich.
  • Omg. Please.  This is either going to end in awesome, disaster, or both.
  • You get no Elvis souvenirs bc/I fly through MINNEAPOLIS not MEMPHIS on the way home.  Boo.
  • You did miss the memo.  The douche fork look is very in now. (I am trying new nouns + douche...)
  • Pereson?  If it's not in the dictionary, we're defining it.  Perhaps someone with cuffed jeans, glasses, and wears a tie?
  • Also, I walked in on a man in the bathroom.  It was awkward. 
  • Toad the wet sprocket!!!!!


See - - told ya I had fantastic friends.  Feeling a bit jealous?  Yeah, I can imagine.

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