Let Go

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My husband bought me this painting on canvas a few years back. It actually means quite a lot to me -- I  received this in a fairly chaotic time in our lives and I was struggling to find some peace within myself. I was trying to focus on getting something down on paper this morning and I kept staring at this painting. Sometimes inspiration is almost too obvious.

Everyday
I am afraid
Terrified it will be so very obvious
that I need you
more
than you need me

Each time I say goodnight
I get on my knees (figuratively)
and pray that you are not
planning
your goodbye (literally).

When you turn around and
walk away
because you have somewhere to be (literally)
I fear that its because
you would rather be
anywhere else (figuratively).

It hurts in the head
in the heart
a solid one-two punch to the gut
maybe more like one million unsure (but still painful) cuts

When I breathe you in I feel
comforted and safe
You are probably waiting and waiting and waiting
to exhale with relief
that I don't need anything more from you
(other than just
everything)

It has become so completely obvious
that somewhere along the way
I was so busy holding tight
to your hand
Afraid to let go
It never occurred to me
I should fear
losing myself





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